Bringing a baby into the world is one of the most incredible and life-changing experiences—but let’s be real, it can also be completely overwhelming. I thought I was ready. I read all the books, took the classes, and listened to endless advice from seasoned moms. But no matter how much you prepare, there are some things that only experience can teach you.
Looking back, there are a few things I wish I had known before giving birth that would have helped me navigate this wild and beautiful journey a little more smoothly. My hope is that sharing these insights can help you feel a little more prepared—or at least a little less alone—as you get ready to meet your baby.
1. The "Fourth Trimester" Is VERY Real
We spend so much time thinking about the three trimesters of pregnancy that we forget there’s a fourth one waiting for us on the other side. The postpartum period, often called the "fourth trimester," is just as important, and honestly...it can feel just as challenging (if not more so).
Your body has been through an incredible event, and it’s not going to bounce back instantly. Healing takes time, whether you’ve had a vaginal delivery or a C-section. And it’s not just physical—your emotions and hormones will be all over the place, too.
2. You Don’t Have to Love Every Moment
We've all heard it - "You’re going to cherish every single moment," and "isn't it just magical?" While there are definitely moments that will make your heart burst, there are also moments that are hard, messy, and downright frustrating.
It’s okay not to love every second of motherhood. There will be times when you’re sleep-deprived, covered in spit-up, and wondering how you’re going to get through the day. That doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you human.
If I could go back, I’d tell myself:
It’s okay to grieve your old life: It’s a big adjustment, and it’s natural to miss the freedom you had before becoming a parent.
It’s okay to ask for help: You don’t have to do it all alone. Sharing the load doesn’t make you weak; it makes you smart.
It’s okay to focus on the good moments: Even on the hardest days, there will be little things that make it all worth it.
3. Breastfeeding (or Not) Is Its Own Journey
Before I gave birth, I assumed breastfeeding would just… happen. It’s natural, right? But the reality can be so much more complicated. From latching struggles to supply issues, breastfeeding is often a steep learning curve. And if it’s not working for you, or you don't want to, that’s okay too.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me:
It’s okay if it’s hard: Whether it’s pain, low supply, or an uncooperative baby, breastfeeding challenges are super common. You’re not doing anything wrong.
There’s no shame in formula feeding: At the end of the day, fed is best. Your baby needs love, nourishment, and a mom who isn’t drowning in stress.
Get support early: A good lactation consultant can be a game-changer. Don’t wait to reach out if you’re struggling.
Breastfeeding is just one piece of the puzzle. Do what works for you and your baby—no guilt.
4. Postpartum Emotions Are No Joke
No one prepared me for the emotional rollercoaster of postpartum life. One minute you’re staring at your baby with pure love, and the next you’re crying because you ran out of coffee. The hormonal shifts after birth are no joke, and they can hit you like a ton of bricks.
The baby blues—feeling weepy, moody, or overwhelmed in the first couple of weeks—are super common. But if those feelings don’t ease up or if they start to feel too heavy, it could be postpartum depression or anxiety, which are just as real as any physical recovery and just as important to address.
Here’s what helped me:
Knowing it’s okay to not feel "normal" right away: Give yourself time to adjust. You just had a baby—that’s a big deal!
Talking about it: Whether it’s with your partner, a friend, or a therapist, opening up about how you’re feeling can be so freeing.
Getting help when needed: Therapy, medication, support groups—there are so many options. Reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness.
5. Asking for Help Isn’t Just Okay—It’s Necessary
Before I had my baby, I was convinced I could do it all. After all, I’d always been independent and capable. But motherhood has a way of teaching you that nobody can do it all, and that’s okay. Asking for help doesn’t make you less of a mom—it makes you a smart one.
Whether it’s asking your partner to handle a feeding, having a friend bring over dinner, or even hiring a postpartum doula, leaning on others can make a world of difference.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Say yes when help is offered: If someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” take them up on it. Seriously.
Plan ahead: Before giving birth, think about who can help with meals, chores, or watching the baby so you can rest.
Remember self-care matters: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is full of surprises, challenges, and moments of pure magic. While you can’t prepare for everything, knowing what to expect can make the journey a little less overwhelming. If you’re getting ready to welcome your baby, remember this: you’re doing an amazing job, even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.
You don’t have to do it all alone.
xo,
Blaire
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